is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
