Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
