If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
