He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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