as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
