did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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