She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
