And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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