Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
