Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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