So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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