so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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