I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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