u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
