I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
