whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
