ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
