At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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