he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
