when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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