I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
