As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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