Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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