I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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