It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
