I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
