Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
