Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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