i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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