there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
