I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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