either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
