So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
