I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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