Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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