I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
