i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
