Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
