id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
