hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
