sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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