Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
