walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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