Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
