No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish i was in the wii world.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
