it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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