Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
