She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
