if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
