Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
