The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
