i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
