I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
