capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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