Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
