i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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