Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
