I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
