She said her name was "party"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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